I laid awake in the darkness, the numbers on my clock showing the hours as they passed. I huffed and rolled over, willing myself to sleep, knowing it would be a tiring day. There was so much to do but I couldn’t turn my brain off from worrying and fretting.
As I lay there staring at the ceiling, my mind whirred through my ‘to-do’ list. There were people to call, family appointments to make, both household and work obligations to be filled. My brain worried over the finances, health issues and family relationships. I began the downward spiral of ‘what ifs’ that often lead me to a dark place of fear, worry, and fatigue.
Do you ever have nights like this? Do you lie awake with worry? Trying to solve your problems and coming up with scenarios which may never happen? Do you make plans with back up plans and then alternate plans?
I like to be organized and “in control” so that I can be on top of anything that happens in my career, my family, and my life. But life isn’t always like that, is it? Sometimes things happen outside of our control. A health crisis, a financial hardship, or a relationship challenge. Those worries can rob us of our peace and our joy.
As I turned over in bed again, I was reminded of my focus word for this year. Hope. The dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen” or “a feeling of trust”.
Just the day before, I had read the verse “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13
I felt my body begin to relax and took a deep breath. I began to silently pray, thanking God that He is in control and to put my worries in His hands. With hope and trust I could relax and know that God is in control. I don’t have to worry, fret, or fear. Why do I always take my anxieties to God as a last resort instead of a first response?
As I drifted off to sleep with that promise in my mind, I silently thanked God for the peace and joy that comes from knowing Him. I may not be able to control all the circumstances in my life, but I can rest and trust in the hope that He is in control. He knows the details of my life and has the best plan for my future. I just need to relax and let Him hold me in the palm of His hand while I fall into a perfect and peaceful sleep. My hope is in you, Lord.