As I viewed my Facebook ‘memories’ one morning, one of the pictures brought me to tears with fresh grief. I cried as I viewed the photos and stories of a past day with my son who died. Although the memories were good ones, my heart broke afresh with grief for the loss of him in our lives.
Maybe you’ve experienced the same type of loss in your life. Memories that bring fresh pain on an otherwise sunny day.
To love deeply means to also suffer deeply when we lose someone we love. Maybe you have experienced the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or another type of loss in your life. When we love with passion, we also grieve with intensity. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel the emotions that God gave us when he created us. We also have a wonderful example of grief in Jesus after the death of his friend Lazarus.
“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35 ESV) In the Passion Translation, the same verse says, “Then tears streamed down Jesus’ face.” (John 11:35 TPT)
I love the visual description of this. Have you ever cried so hard that tears streamed down your face? I have. That is what it means to weep. Not just moist eyelids with a tiny sniffle, but tears so overflowing that they streamed down your face and dripped off your chin. Deep sorrow is a result of deep love lost.
In this verse, Jesus is grieving the death of his friend Lazarus even though he knows he is going to raise him from the dead. However, he mourned with Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, for the sadness and grief of the loss of their brother. Jesus was comforting them in their grief by joining them in their sorrow.
He wept. Not just light crying, but an expression of deep sorrow and pain. He allowed himself to feel the intense emotion of loss and grief even though he knew there would be joy in the resurrection. He came alongside his friends in their hour of deep sorrow. He acknowledges their pain. He could relate to their sorrow and grief. No lecture. No platitudes. No distractions. Just raw grief. Jesus allowed himself to sit with them in the valley of their grief.
If Jesus can allow himself to feel that deeply, to grieve with his friends, and to comfort the suffering, then so can I. I can follow his example of compassion.
It’s okay for me to grieve my losses fully before seeking joy, before looking on the bright side, and seeing the positive in an otherwise depressing situation. To take my deepest sorrow to Jesus when I’m hurting, because he understands my suffering. I can allow him to comfort me and I move from grief to joy in time. It’s okay for me to comfort others in their grief by joining them in their sorrow. No platitudes or answers are required. Sometimes, just a hug can be all the comfort needed.
I appreciate Jesus’ example of how to express emotions. I thank God that I have emotions, even when they sometimes hurt. I praise God for the peace and joy that comes through our sorrow and brings us hope for the future. I am grateful I can bring my hurts and grief to God in prayer and he understands, gives comfort, and provides hope through the journey of grief.
As I gaze on the happy memories of the past, and feel the grief of my loss, I can still smile through the tears. As the tears stream down my face and drip off my chin, I can be comforted by my faith, knowing that there will be joy in the reunion someday, in heaven.
